* Note- if you don’t want to read a personal entry dealing with nursing, skip today’s blog.
As an A-type personality I like to be in control over things. This is one thing I can’t control and I am upset over it. It may seem small, but I feel as if my body has let me down. I nursed my first two kids to 11 months and 13 months respectively. Then they transitioned to milk. The third child only till 8 months. I know that’s good and better than nothing, but my goal was to go at least a year. But having started the MS medication I can’t nurse. I started to ween him about a week or so ago to get ready, but I wasn’t prepared for the physical discomfort.
I actually had to call the Dr. today to make sure this was normal. Apparently my body (mentally or not) was not ready to quit. The solution is to bind the chest with an Ace bandage and a sports bra. It takes about two weeks for the milk to dry up. I was not prepared for two weeks of discomfort on top of the muscle aches from the MS medication. Now every time I breathe I will be reminded that I have to shut off this part of “mothering”. Nursing was such an easy and convenient way to feed him, console him (especially after shots) and to have the bonding time.
Feeding a bottle just hasn’t been the same. It’s taken me a while to get used to having to prepare and heat a bottle, figure out how much he’ll take and then wrestle with him while he wiggles around. I used to have two hands while I nursed and now I have one holding him and the other holding the bottle. It’s only been about a week and a half, so I am sure we’ll learn this new dance together. But for now I will mourn a little over the ending of this last stage.